Sunday, April 29, 2007

Still Here

Haven't felt much like blogging lately although most days I'm flicking round other peoples sites.

Just had the most disastrous installation ever which I could have done without. Plenty of other negatives too but I can't be bothered with them.

On the plus side I am now entitled to drive once again having served my 12 month ban. Should have the insurance set up tomorrow and then I'm properly mobile again, much to my relief and also to Marj's who is looking forward to being chauffered at every opportunity.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Political Satire still lives.

I received this by email today. Just in case you haven't seen it yet.

A young man named Gordon bought a donkey from an old farmer for £100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day, but when the farmer drove up he said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news... the donkey is on my truck, but unfortunately he's dead.

Gordon replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "I can't do that, because I've spent it already.

Gordon said, "OK then, well just unload the donkey anyway.

The farmer asked, "What are you going to do with him?" Gordon answered, "I'm going to raffle him off."

To which the farmer exclaimed, "Surely you can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

But Gordon, with a wicked smile on his face said, "Of course I can, you watch me. I just won't bother to tell anybody that he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Gordon and asked, "What happened with that
dead donkey?"

Gordon said, "I raffled him off, sold 500 tickets at two pounds a piece, and made a huge, fat profit!!"

Totally amazed, the farmer asked, "Didn't anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?"

To which Gordon replied, "The only guy who found out about the donkey being
dead was the raffle winner when he came to claim his prize. So I gave him
his £2 raffle ticket money back plus an extra £200, which as you know is double the going rate for a donkey, so he thought I was great guy!!

Gordon grew up and eventually became the Chancellor of the Exchequer, and no matter how many times he lied, or how much money he stole from the British voters, as long as he gave them back some of the stolen money, most of them, unfortunately, still thought he was a great guy.

The moral of this story is that, if you think Gordon is about to play fair and do something for the everyday people of the country for once in his miserable, lying life, think again my friend, because you'll be better off flogging a dead donkey!

Following the Government

In the spirit of the present government who yesterday apologised to the Argentinians for us unnacceptably killing members of their armed forces who had invaded the Falkland Islands, and in the likelihood we will then apologise for allowing 15 of our armed forces who were in Iraqi waters to be taken to Tehran and filling up their television schedules, I too have an apology.

During the 1960s I had a toy that was made in China. Unfortunatly some 6 decades earlier, during the Boxer Rebellion, some Chinese people were killed by members of the British Forces. I have however decided to apologise for my own part in those terrible affairs even though I was not born for another 60 years and I know of nobody involved.

Oh, and I think I'm personally responsible for slavery as well, although that might be someone else.